There are a lot of ways to spend $4 million dollars. Invest in a seaside property in California. Buy a Hermès Sac Bijou Birkin ... and bet the rest on horses. Buy a $5 footlong, 800,000 times. 

But of all the ways to spend $4 million, there's one way to get you roasted, at least if you're New York City — paying McKinsey seven figures to prove that trash cans actually work. Fortunately for you, looking at this week's funniest tweets is not only notably less cringe-inducing but also boasts a much smaller price tag — free.99.

From the dangers of putting a Kennedy in the World Trade Center to the shockingly chic implications of a failed marriage in your 20s, here are 24 tweets so funny you'll spit-take your coffee.