A man dies and appears at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done a good deed?” asks St. Peter.

“Sure, one time I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a woman,” the man says. “I walked up to the leader and punched him in the face, kicked over his bike, and told him, ‘You leave her alone or you’ll answer to me.’”

“That was very brave of you,” says St. Peter. “When did this happen?”

“About two seconds ago.”