Giving a graduation speech is easy-peasy. Just get up there and say a few words about hope and dreams and all that, and you should be good to go. After all, these people have already graduated college and have probably taken a look at the pitiful job market — what else can you really do for them?


Despite this relative ease, some people still find a way to really and truly fuck it up. Adding to that list of total failures is Chris Pan, who recently gave the commencement speech for Ohio State University. Things went to shit pretty much immediately, as can be seen from the video.



For those of you who don’t know — pretty much everyone, I would guess — Pan appears to be a motivational speaker, at least from looking at his website. I’ll let his own description do the talking: “My mission is to help a billion people find emotional, spiritual and financial freedom. We will heal, learn and build a new earth together. Using evidence-based proven approaches such as singing, and intention setting, we will put theory into practice to be the change we want to see.”


Sure, buddy.



To give Pan the benefit of the doubt that he absolutely does not deserve, the section on Bitcoin appeared to be warning students about the rising cost of living. According to Pan, one of the ways people can combat this is by investing in cryptocurrency, something that has definitely always turned out fine.



If you were wondering how on earth Pan thought this was a good idea, it turns out he may have had a little help in the form of ayahuasca.


“Got some help from AI (Ayahuasca Intelligence) this week to write my commencement speech for 60,000 grads and family members at Ohio State University next Sunday,” Pan wrote in a LinkedIn post several days prior to the event. “Tried ChatGPT but wasn’t that good.”


So if you needed another reason to not do drugs, well, here you go.